Saturday, March 2, 2013

How am I doing...

It's been a while since I blogged.  Life has been so busy and crazy at times.  I have almost completed studies for my Masters.  In July, my first grandchild was born.  Last summer, I no longer called my best friend friend.  One constant in life is change.

In 6 weeks, I will have my Masters degree in Accounting.  It has been a long hard journey, but I honestly believe it will be worth it.  I can already see a brighter future ahead. 

The past few months have found me struggling with the decision to stay in Colorado or move back to Alabama.  In my heart, I truly want to stay in Colorado.  The culture and lifestyles here suit me.  When I think about moving to Alabama, I just cringe because I feel I will be taking a step back instead of moving forward. 

One question on everyone's lips lately is "Have you started dating?"  The answer is a firm "No".  I have such high standards now that I don't think anyone will ever measure up.  Also, I have not learned to trust...anyone.  As I have said all along, it's going to take an exceptional man to win my heart. 

It's taken a long time, but I am happy and content with my life as a single woman.  My confidence grows each day.  No longer do I need confirmation from a man that I am attractive and desirable.  I honestly don't care.   Many people would say those are the words of a woman who doesn't care about her looks.  Not true.  I care about how I look.  I just no longer dress or style myself to suit someone else.  I dress to make me happy.  Of course, I would love to lose more weight.  It will happen.  I will make it so...for my own reasons. 

Underlying everything I've said, is a great deal of anger still.  Most of my anger comes from the ex-boyfriend's betrayal, lies, and infidelity.  I never loved anyone like I loved him and I worked so hard at making him happy.  It angers me that he was such a slimy character.  Fortunately, anger can be used as a catalyst for change.  I am one strong, independent woman who knows that she can make it without the need of a partner.  That is the best happy, living well, and loving the life you have built.