Since my breakup, I've ridden an emotional roller coaster. One minute I am handling things well. The next I am a huge blob of tears. Then, I am a raging lunatic. Will someone please stop the ride and let me get off?
I've ask the counselor several times how long I can expect these feelings to last. Her answer, "the roller coaster ride will last as long as it lasts." Well duh! Didn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out.
Last night, I went to my first workout in months. The trainer asks me what my motivation was for working out. I immediately told her that I originally bought the membership to lose weight for my wedding and promptly burst out into tears. Yep! Right there in the middle of the 24 Hour Fitness! I couldn't stop myself. It was so humiliating.
I finally sucked up the tears and sadness, looked her in the eye and said, "I'm doing this for me now." I told her that I wanted to reduce my cholesterol, blood pressure, and get toned and trim all for me. She grinned and said, "Atta girl!"
I learned a lot about myself last night...I am strong-willed and will get through this. Unfortunately, there are going to be lots of tears, but I will make it. What doesn't break us only makes us stronger. When I come out on the other side of this, I'm going to be the better person.
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