One thing I have always lacked is self-confidence. When it comes to math or accounting, I have self-confidence because I've proven to myself that I know how to do these things. However, when it comes to being comfortable in my own skin, I have very little confidence.
Last night, I downloaded a book on self-confidence. Most of the steps are common sense like get a new hairdo, try new clothing style, get your nails done, hang out with confident people, etc. All of those ideas are good, but only temporary. One bad hair day and your confidence is wrecked.
I believe to boost my self-confidence, I need to exercise and lose more weight. Unfortunately, I just don't have the desire to lift my butt off the sofa and go do it. Where do I find that strength to pick myself up and just do it?
When I was 22 and a size 8, I didn't have self-confidence. On the inside, I was still me. I was the fat girl everyone made fun of in high school...I was Two-Ton Buns. My senior year of high school I lost 60 pounds, but still lacked confidence around the opposite sex. I married the first man that told me I was beautiful. Big mistake! That's another story.
According to the new book, in order to gain self-confidence, I have to write positive affirmations every day. The theory is that if you repeat them enough, you will begin to believe them. Affirmations work well when you are in the privacy and comfort of your apartment, but what about when the boss is asking why you haven't finished a project? When work is so overwhelming that you don't know where to start? All the self-confidence in the world cannot get the boss to hire a new person to help with some of the load. I don't even have the time to figure out where I need help.
What to do? Is self-confidence a cure-all or an illusion? If I had self-confidence, would my life suddenly, miraculously change for the better? It's worth a try. Especially, when there is no where to go but up.
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