Life has a way of carrying us forward. A few weeks ago, I moved into an apartment. It's small by most standards (especially when you don't have enough closet space), but for me and my puppy, it's fine. Every morning we go for a walk. The complex is landscaped and the grounds are beautiful. My puppy loves the abundance of rabbits, birds, and squirrels...who seem to torment him when we go for our walks. He keeps me moving.
I realize now that if I am going to be happy here, I am going to have to make friends. The first order of business is to start smiling again. In most of the pictures taken of me recently, I'm not smiling. I'm not frowning, but I am certainly not smiling. What happened to that easy smile I had a few years ago? How do you get your smile back? I'm not talking about the one you reserve for friends, family, and loved ones. I'm talking about the one that says "Hello! I am a happy person who loves people. I want to meet you because I feel you're special!" Maybe that's overkill, but its the smile when we show the world we are open to life, love, happiness, and (dare I say it?) trust. AHA! That's what it is! I've lost my trust.
When meeting new people, you have to have just the smallest amount of trust because you are sharing your name and a small piece of yourself. Today, I still wonder if I am ever going to get the piece of myself back that I left behind. There's definitely an emptiness in my chest now where my heart used to be...
So, how do you rebuild trust, not only in others, but in yourself? Baby steps. It starts with a smile. A smile says you are opening yourself up to learn about others. It shows interest in other members of the human race. It's the simplest communication device we have available.
Forgive the randomness...I was half asleep when I wrote it. :)
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