Tuesday, August 16, 2011

I have to let go and move on...

Once again…the rollercoaster ride from hell.  I have really got to move on and get this behind me.  If I don’t, I’m afraid I will go insane.  Christians say that the Lord never gives us more than we can handle, but I think the Lord is giving me too much credit.  I am handling this breakup rather poorly.  I can’t wait for an excuse to email or text because I so want to hear him say “I made a terrible mistake.”  Unfortunately, he would never admit it. 

I honestly don’t think I would be here if it weren’t for the support of my friends.  One thing this situation has shown me is that I have more friends than I ever knew.  My ex on the other hand, has his mother: A psycho, oedipal, worn-out, list making crone who wants only for her crippled son to depend on her for his every need; that I also suspect of bribing her son to dump me.  (I present a new computer and appliances as evidence of this statement) She is too mean and set in her ways to ever get a man of her own so she uses her son as a substitute.  ICK! Fortunately, I am surrounded by people whose only concern is my happiness and not their own.  (Well, my best friend does like having another female in the house to balance out all the testosterone)

Anyway, it is IMPERATIVE that I move on.  At one point, I had hoped he and I could be friends (another effort at showing him that I could be what he needed).  However, friendship with him is not an option.  How can you go from being the love of someone’s life to being a casual friend?  Honestly, every time I knew he was blowing me off for another woman would be devastating.  I couldn’t handle it.  If he wants to move on, he will have to do it without me.  I am moving in a direction away from him and towards a happier future with someone else…ME!  Now…if I could only practice what I preach.




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